Stuck in a Rut After a Violent Trauma



Stuck In A Rut After A Violent Trauma

Life doesn’t often go as we expected or planned. The people we trust can surprise or shock us. We may be unable to perceive threats before it happens and it leaves a lasting mark on our mind. We get stuck in state of mind that stops us from moving on, if we have ever overcome or gone through an event that is traumatizing, shocking or violent. Most of the time, it creates a negative impact or influence to our well being.

A trauma can cause a person to be left speechless, in confusion and dazed. It can knock us off our feet and remove us from the present moment and we get stuck and locked in that memory and we keep running that memory repeatedly and it dances 24/7 in our mind wether or not we tell it to stop and stop and stop, it won’t stop, because trauma and shock loves to live in our mind obsessively. It is hard to move on after a traumatic event. We remember the words spoken, we remember the feeling as the aftershock, we remember the fury, anger, or violence. We remember how the wind knock us off our feet or punch us in the guts. We remember so much details about the trauma that we obsess over it without realizing we are feeding it and making it live off our present moments, takings months and years of our life.

Many people get stuck in a rut after going through certain element of unsuspecting shock, loss, grief, trauma or violence in their past. They can’t seem to move on. They can’t find their way back to the road of the living. They are trapped in a dark hole where they can see the sun and moon rise and sets, but they are not part of it. Part of Life. They disassociate from being able to take action and participate in life. Have you seen people around you living their life, achieving their life, bringing new people into their life, getting upgrades and growing more beautiful day by day. And you look at yourself just the same as before, just the same as yesterday, wondering how can you get out of the situation you find yourself in. You are speechless, you feel lost, you feel alone, you may even feel so much depression and anxiety building up the more you recognize how detached you are from society and living as a shadow that nobody see or you are not able to recognize yourself as part of the society and chain of social network you live in.

Trauma and Shock can change a lot of chemical in your brain, your mind reverses and sets back from the healthy state and its going to struggle to create a proper present perception. Your reality is knocked out cold. Its gotten hit by a huge tank and your reality is smashed. The only thing that is living in full technicolor of your life is the trauma repeating itself night and day, weeks and months after it has happened. You have no idea it was coming, you had no control of it. You have no capabilities to restore yourself from the grief, loss, pain and injury. You are shocked to the core and left empty. Your mind stops producing any positive hormones, your mind is basically in a state of disarray. Its hard to focus, its hard to listen, its hard to start anything new and finishing it. There is this surge of helplessness and you can’t figure out what is happening. You try so hard to do something good again for yourself, but its all just empty efforts. Nothing you do feels good enough. The chemical in your brain is not supporting your intentions to bring goodness into your life. It is still fighting a war left by the shock and trauma that happened awhile back. Your mind is still thinking you are fighting a trigger.

Your hormones in your body is in crisis. Its trying to get rid of the stress buildup. Cortisols is raging through your bloodstreams without you realizing it.  Your body is tense, your muscle is slowly breaking and so much energy is fighting with the fight or flight syndrome in your mind. Your mind did not register that the event is over, but the threat still lives long after the dark episode in your life. That is why your body is rising in stress levels, it is perceiving the threat is still ongoing. Your mind replaying the event over and over continuously is not helping and you needed to heal and get therapy or understand that you must end the unfinished story in your mind by learning to take control of the vision raging a war in your mind. You can’t control your perceptions nor inner visions because your perspectives are knocked out cold by the negative event that shook your core. The trauma you live through is taking the center stage of your mind and it is uninvited, unwelcomed and a wild guest taking control of your mind.

You realise that it is so hard to feel good again, your Serotonin crashed and you have no ability to find any way to feel good again. Despair, gutted, sadness, grief, clueless, lost. You are trapped in a low vibration, low mood and emotions. Your mind hard to find inspiration or a way to do the things you use to love. You lose affection to what you use to love, you lose passion and you cannot enjoy the things that you use to love doing. Stress builds up everyday and you have to keep moving and trying to get out of the rut and keep trying something and may even feel its not working out.

You are trapped in a very low vibration, your body and immune system is going against your heart’s desire. Your mind unable to focus and feel clarity. You have a lot of unsettled issues running high speed in your mind. There is a lot of energy you need to purge and purify from the past event. Toxic beliefs and emotional baggage needs to flush out of your energy system. Your behaviour and personality starts to shift and its hard to control it. You began sabotaging yourself and find it hard to carry effort to do things you have to do in order to meet life’s daily expectations. You stopped doing simple chores. Small tasks feels like a big giant effort. You cannot focus on simple things. Your mind is fully fledged abandoning your life’s priorities, reality and current ordeal. It is living in that trapped memory that replays infinitely that doesn’t seem to want to shut up. Taking a deep breath you have to fight this mental conflict with a lot of patience, love and assertiveness.

It will take a lot of tears, grunts, grudges, and so much negative energy to release it all, but you can. You can get over it. You may have high and low moments of journey to healing and recovery but it is possible. Actively work with your mind and purge the narration that is speaking into the halls of your mind. Make sure it is a voice of love and kindness. If its not you can start to question its place in your mind. Remove it from having the loudest volume and turn it down and mute the negative voices as well as the negative visions in your mind. Cancel the negative perspectives and become aware of all the negative energies trying to affect your body and immune system to respond to perceived threat and danger. Your mind is a very fragile biological device that runs your body and heart and its hay-wired. You need to learn to nourish your mind after the trauma with a lot of concern, speculative care, and huge compassion to any violence damaging any more sore spots of your soul. Tame the wild bull chasing the invisible red cloth masked as danger and threat that is already over. Love the bull, love the perception of violence and do no fear it. Do not give fear to the perception of danger and threat running your mental state. Instead give it love. Give it patience. Give it attention with no judgement and detachment. It will be hard because you might want to fight the voices, you might want to ridicule it, get angry at it and judge it. But the voices in your mind needs to know you are accepting, non-judgemental, and loving. Be the wise guru and let your mind purge its fears, its concerns, and its disappointments. The mind needs to be heard. But also discern which is your own mind and the mind left by other’s impressions. Question your mind with who resides in it. Is it your own soul or images of other people’s shadows. People who have violated your self respect, dignity, free will and self worth. Are they in your mind. Learn to refuse any negativity from them with non judgemental detachment. Love and Surrender.

Pt. 2

It is safe to take the actions you need to do

Sociopath uses you as a human to dump their fears while they associate to all your courageous feats

You are carrying all the fears belonging to the sociopaths

They control your perspectives to hold your spirit down

Your perspectives that runs wild in your mind is affecting your immune system

The perspectives in your mind left by the trauma and violence

controls your body and start to morph your reality into a nightmare

It all begins in the mind

Your mind was violated and intoxicated by fearful associations with fearful people

It is safe to take the actions you need to do

They make you fear doing what you use to love doing

They make you fear receiving goodness into your life

They make you fear life and perceive its dangerous

But the only danger was them, it was their violating controlling behavior that was dangerous

They were dangerous to you

Your capabilties and dreams was dangerous to them

Because you can see a future filled with love, hope, beauty, life

And they take your future in ransom, when they violate your mind and intoxicate your mind with negative beliefs and crushing hopes and debilitating doubts

They attack your GABA neuron, they attack it so you will disassociate from your reality and start connection to the delusion and false beliefs and false danger

There is no danger. Life is not dangerous. The people in it are. Some people are. The person provoking and attacking you are dangerous. They are delusional.

They are attacking your connection to the present moment. They are wedging in between your present reality and your future.

They are associating themselves to all your good qualities, good identity and self respect,

while they are also disassociating their fears and delusions into your peripheral visions

They accuse and demolish your good characters when you turn your back on them

They leave negative criticisms and huge load of self denial onto your unconscious and subconscious

as they feel triggered by your unique vision, your unique capabilities and your unique light.

They are attracted to your light, yet silently wish to destroy it

They make you feel its unsafe to be yourself

But it is, it is safe to be yourself.

Its just unsafe to be yourself around a person who is spiteful, envious, jealous and hateful

It is unsafe to be yourself around an angry and miserable person who will blame you for their lack of self control and love

It is unsafe to be yourself around a person who is not on your level of charisma, your level of intelligence and your level of confidence

It is unsafe to impress a person who is only using you to groom their ego and lack of confidence
It is unsafe to seek approval from a person who is being arrogant and despicable using your authenticity as a doormat
It is unsafe for you to let other people undermine your worth and talent and refuse to validate your strengths as they deny their shame, insecurities and vulnerabilities while standing around you or being near to you

It is unsafe for you to be yourself around a person who desires to objectify you so they can associate themselves to your unique light and feel entitled to possess it and pick your personality apart and throw it around the social circle like a crown, a trophy or a ball that they never deserve, or earn.
It is unsafe for you to ignore and dismiss dangerous characters as stated above, because the people who sees you as a means to an end, is a person without conscience of respect to your presence, your free will, and your voice. They try to dominate you, possess you and try to obsess over you. You are the shiny new toy everyone wants a piece of. They have disrespected you.
It is unsafe to be around disrespectful people who objectify you, diminish you, use you as a trophy, pick on your unique personality, attack your accomplishments. It is unsafe to ignore arrogant people attempting to step over your self worth, dignity and pride.
And one thing is for sure, its that it is not your responsibility to change anything about yourself to please the dangerous people. You can refuse to be trauma-bonded to a dangerous person who is delusional.

You are stuck in a rut, and you can’t take any action because you are perceiving danger. Its all callous. The danger is gone. The delusion has to end. Life is not dangerous. You just survived a dangerous insane person who was psychotic. You are safe. Your mind does not register that you are currently safe in this reality and present moment. There will be times when the negative thoughts creeps in and tell you negative things. There will be times when you will remember the negative traumatic events. There will be times when you are flooded with negative emotions. This all has happened in the past. The truth is, you are safe, now. Exactly. Now. You. Are. Safe.
And its Okay. To Feel Safe. Now. I need you to know that “Its safe and Its okay, to feel safe”
Your immune system, GABA neuron, adrenaline, energy needs to know that you have been duped and lied to. It should have fired and triggered danger around the unsafe situation, unsafe environment and unsafe people. But it didn’t, because the person lied to you, manipulated you, and fooled you. You need to flush all the stress out, the cortisols, the excess stress called ACTH that breaks your immune system to make you lethargic and drained. The perception of ongoing danger is over. I give you a big wave of rainbow aurora and I am telling you, you are safe. Big bear hugs. Your cocoon of safe bubble and love bubble is returned. You are not a deer in the headlights anymore. You are no longer disassociating anymore. You are grounded in the present reality. You are not going to be pushed out of your body just so other people can use you as a punching bag for their emotional disappointments in life. Yes, you were used as a dummy taking a lot of frustrations from people who conned you to trust them. Manipulated your heart to be loyal to them. To forgive them and love them no matter what. It is wrong, it is unjustified and it is false all the way through. It is INSANITY.

She or He was a Dangerous and Insane person. But your mind was holding on to false perspectives about them. They control your perspective and they refuse you from following your gut instincts, and your inner voice. They keep distracting you from feeling your own feelings. They attempt to possess your soul and connection to spirit. You are going to be released from all this insanity and delusions now. It must have been months or years, but it has to end. You know you don’t want to be stuck in a rut anymore. The dangerous situation is over. But your mind held on to the memories because you subconsciously feel that there is something else you could have done. In your position, nobody could have done anything else, because it is an insidious plot to harm you, you couldn’t have known. Its only fair for you to learn now and completely forgive the past so you can focus on the current reality now and live in the present moment with so much bliss, and beauty.

They break your connection to your body so you won’t be able to leave that dangerous situation, so your body is in shock. They force you to focus on their words, their perspectives and their ideas about their rage or negativity or accusation. They paint a delusion in your mind so it goes berserk and haywire. You are not able to think independently, everything is forced into your vision. Your ability to discern, truth and facts is obliterated and removed entirely. You cannot sense true or false anymore. All you can do is stay put, and be mentally abuse, mentally tortured, or insidiously brainwashed by the sudden violent shock in anyway it may have happened. Through social media, phone calls, face to face engagements, energy doesn’t know boundaries of the material plane. It can travel. This energy shock you and shook you and traumatises you.

PT. 3

Your dream was not dangerous.

Your dream coming true was dangerous to them. They are fearful of Love, Light, Possibility and Happiness. Everything that you Desire has emotional attachment to it. A positive emotional attachment. They erase all of your positive emotional attachment. Serotonin & Dopamine from all your desires and they force, violate you to attack your desires. Your Natural state of wellbeing with Cortisols and ACTH.

They saw your free spirit, they got scared at the feeling of true freedom. They attack you in order to violate your willpower and force you to fear what you love and love what you fear. You have been brainwashed. Your natural state to go after your hearts desire was hijacked. Instead you are forced to be in Morbid Pause. You have been programmed to Isolate your Desire in a Vault of Fear, Stress, Worry, Danger, Scared feelings.

They are scared of the Light within you. Because your light shines the ugly truth they are carrying. They are scared at the perception they perceive about themselves around you. The true perception they naturally carry about themselves. They attack you, accuse you, violate you because they need to erase and wipe out your Light. You are stuck in a rut and in a Morbid Pause because you are giving space to their ego, darkness to violate and make home in your Life. You have to start removing this energy out of your mind, body and immune system as well as emotions.

They cannot control their perception about themselves around you. So they need to attack their trigger. They lose their self control and they smash your positive image, self confidence and got lost in their Narcissistic rage. They dump their fear on you, how they truly perceive themselves, their anger and self hatred towards you.

Imagine the violent trauma places a new casing over your mind. This casing is given to you by force. You try to remove it. But its glued shut. Imagine your phone is your mind. You cannot rip the casing off the phone. You cannot rip the violent trauma off your mind. It has to be healed in a gentle layer by layer type of way. There is a lot of perspective that needs to be inspected and carefully removed. This is all through the efforts of self awareness and understanding how your mind perceives yourself, life, your relationship with people and circumstances.

All the perspectives from the violent trauma has infected and influenced the once has been your healthy perspectives.

Your immune system and body is sensitive to the thoughts that run naked in your mind. As well as the perspectives you carry in your mind. Each perspective in your mind will trigger a response in your immune system and body reaction. If there is a fearful and dangerous perspective in your mind, your body will start to tense up. If you are dreaming good dreams, your body starts to relax as well as having and receiving good news.

Think good things and good things can happen

The perspectives you carry in your mind is going to reflect the current state of your reality. When your mind is violated and attacked with fear and negative beliefs and you cannot control the violence rampaging your mind. This perspectives are brutally charging your immune system and body to go against your wish, desire and safety. Your reality starts to crash and you are hit by depression and negative energy.

Remember your ability to discern and judge this perspectives is switched off. Your freewill to choose thoughts and disengage in negative thoughts is blocked. All there is, is just the violence left and marked in your mind by that trauma you endured.
Stuck in a rut is the mind unable to shift perspective and move the negative emotions out of the body. In order for you to progress and move forward you must learn how to discern the genuine emotions that belongs to you and the false emotions that the trauma provoked. But the first step is to clearly see the obstacle in your mind as negative perspective, negative thoughts, negative beliefs, negative behaviours and negative experiences that is stuck in your mind, unwilling to shift or move out of your system no matter how much you try.

Observing yourself, listening to your thoughts, perceiving the images and memory that runs in your head. Its self awareness that will lead you to self improvement.

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