When I traveled Australia back in 2010, I met up with an old friend who I had to make nice as she gave me the idea to visit her and travel Australia together. But we got into a fight, over her over-dramatization with her issue with her bf and her jealousy was rampant and irrational and she was whining, crying like a baby, and trying to get me to console her and get on her side and when I didn’t do as she please, and ignore her immature mistakes of flying her boyfriend to Australia and letting him sleep in her room, etc, when I told her stop crying over this thing, you knew the consequences of having made decisions like this especially behind your parents back, when I ran away to New Zealand in 2007 Dec, I never called her and cried to her, even when life was rough and I had to live on a weekly wages, she doesn’t know the struggles I went through before I got a job there. Of course it was hard at first, it will always be hard at first. But when I finally reach Australia and I contacted her, we agreed to meet. But her cold ruthless vibe killed the entire foundation of my relationship, trust, friendship with her. She sneered at me, she refuse to look me in the eye, she had dagger eyes, it felt like she could cold blooded murder me right there in that food court in a Perth shopping mall.
Thinking about it, after I walk away from her cold rude mean behaviour, I didn’t even miss her one bit. It wasn’t worth my time to take her malignant attack to me personally. I wasn’t going to take her shit anymore. I wasn’t going to baby her emotional spoilt brat behaviour anymore. We were no longer in high school. We were no longer having secret friendship behind the rest of the classroom. We were 22.
While I was decidedly rejected by my old high school fake best friend that I after many years only realize was pure sociopath. I didn’t let her get to me. I was able to pick up my dignity, who I am, and look for better experience in my trip around Australia and NZ. But that trip was a huge mental distortion in some way that gave me clues of how looking back now. It just made me realize how cognitive delusion and how we have virus of illusions in our life we don’t know we are trapped in. Spiritual journey is about awakening. And it may take years for one incident’s meaning to reveal the deep truth and liberation from what has happened in the past, so we may take the wisdom of what may happened in the future, and shift, transform, re-iterate, change the course of our future. My experiences with this situation allowed me to not hold any agenda, not hold any precursor of vengeance or personal vendetta to hurt her back the way she hurt me, because I believed that whatever she may be going through, I knew back then, that she was irresponsible, inadequate, and trying to find a source of comfort without reason. And I didn’t want to be used as an emotional punching bag, as I already grew up from her childish attitudes and behaviour that she recognise I would put up with and automatically back. But I grew up in some ways after coming back from NZ in 2009, April. Life smacked me in the face really hard. I had to see people who cannot change, and people who shows me version of their nice behaviour only on reasons they get to string me along to their rhythm in life. And its a rhythm and steps that doesn’t serve our personal rights but breaks them.
How we get treated by spoilt and rotten human’s shouldn’t determine our dignity and self worth. Lift your chin up and keep your eyes on the horizon of your personal happiness and don’t let the actions, words, intentions, agenda of the vile toxic angry hateful people, erase your good memories, your natural talents, your bright future, just because they find you an easy target to lay all their problems, to accuse all their past responsibilities, to lay blame all of their insecurities towards you, this are individuals who are untrustworthy, insecure, deeply without principal and ethics, and people who will not respect your privacy behind your back but instead, spreads hate, attempt to humiliate you behind your back, and break your trust in order to win admiration of the people they need to impress.
So I want to use this experience to help shine a light, if any of you who have been discarded, humiliated, devalued, and your integrity demolished by an irresponsible scam artist, con artist, fake friend, backstabbing toxic person, pick up your dignity and find better experiences. In my past experience where I may have remembered this wisdom and put it into practice, there were times that I was attacked too much and got too shocked to remember where I should get my dignity back and pick myself back up and tell myself to move towards better and other experiences, may it be, people, may it be places, may it be opportunities and may it be hopes, dreams, desires.
But it got to a point that even my hopes, dreams, desires, was attacked, degraded, humiliated and things beyond vile words and intentions has harmed me. But now with this wisdom I can recall and pull back into clear focus in my eye and vision. I want to share this power to believe in your personal reality, that the dignity that was destroyed and humiliated, the judgment, the hatred, the actions that intends to break your character and integrity, has nothing and holds no seed in your soul. As this seed, has been nurtured by the toxic person itself, and its attempting to plant and spread the virus of hate, humiliation, shame, ridicule, negative emotions and experiences into your clear energy, because they carry a heavy burden they dont know how to transmute or understand. But believe this that you are not obligated or responsible to heal or cure other people’s burden, other people’s negative emotions, at least not in the way that is through incessant blame, unfounded reasons, and illogical accusations. This crazy behaviour that you put up with is utterly coming from a spoilt childish immature individual. Whichever path your dream leads you, do not let the energy of this toxic individuals lay any influence on your genuine life pathway. Know that the obstacle you face that does not belong to your authentic dreams, should not stay in your pathway, when you awaken to the facts and truth, that you choose to see your dreams through. That the negative emotions left oppressed in your identity, is not your own, and hence as you bid farewell to the imaginary, oppressed obstacles left by irresponsible toxic individuals in your reality from your past. You get to welcome your liberating opportunities, where your genuine life pathway opens, and is cleared, and you receive the genuine opportunities meant for you and not meant for the toxic people parading to be you and behaving like you.
Not everyone has wisdom to be responsible for their own emotions. Not everyone has wisdom to choose kindness. But if you decide to be spiritually connected to love and light, you owe it to your higher self and inner child to choose to receive better outcome than what’s offered on the table by toxic environment, people and situations.
The second time in my life that I picked up my dignity and find better experiences is in march 2014, where I decided to leave the house I was living in with the psychopath in my past, where I got tricked and desperate to move in with her, she got me to move in with her after she fooled around with my entire reality making it seem unsafe for me to be anywhere else but only with her. I left and moved to a new home on my own which was then my studio where I do healing works and session. But a lot of pieces of who I was, was already snatched out, and I didn’t knew my soul fragments were trapped and oppressed under the wicked psychopath’s intention to bully me into submission. Despite it all, I still move to find better experiences and choose to not let her get to me.
The difference between what happened in Australia with my ex best friend, was that, during the entire trip in Australia, I did not even recall my ex best friend, as I respected her choice to condemn me with her rejecting looks and realize I was too old to be bullied and forced to show empathy and compassion to a one sided argument, and a friendship that had to use lethal force of violent glares that shows close to wanting to murder someone, was not likely someone I want to get back in touch with no matter what. I was able to have better experiences, because I can’t explain why, but it was easy for me to move on from it. The second time I had to pick my dignity up, from the lie and negative projection is way after the trauma bond and stockholm syndrome with a desperate psychopath female who wishes to have my life. It was very hard to shake her off my life and time. And when I fight back, the desperate female psychopath found a way to leech me even harder and wipe my mind with black magic or a strong deep hate, anger, desperation and control. Even though I was able to pick up my dignity back, it was shaking me to feel its hard to move on. The influence of the darkness towards me was bad. I made bad decisions. That carried through my entire web of reality.
There was a third time where my dignity was attacked and destroyed. Having my life attacked by a very unsuspecting close relative which was a male sibling. It took me by surprise, and it wiped me out clean of my consciousness and I fell into a very dark hole of trauma, negativity, agoraphobia, and so much more dense and negative energy. I was trying to hold on to something, and I keep falling. This journey is the journey I am writing from, where I am now right there at the top of the stairs reaching the end of the tunnel. Light at the end of the tunnel.
I was lost in the hate, anger, wrath, tons of mix emotions of other people. I couldn’t discern my own energy or the energy from others. I was paranoid, afraid, easily provoked, losing the plot in my life. But with blind faith, with only connection to my heart, I was able to pull through, and pick up my dignity day per day, and find some way towards reaching for better experiences. This is what I have been doing daily, no matter what happened in our past, we have the power to change our daily focus and tweak our daily decisions and habit, to move towards better experiences. Even if its slow like a slime or a turtle, progress is still progress, you just need that small first step, then consistency, then repetition, the stamina to keep going, the faith to keep believing, the courage to keep enduring, the foolishness to keep dreaming.
What I’m learning from what I’m writing right now, the complex ability to know who you are as a wholesome individual, allows you to easily pick your dignity up, and helps you to move on easier. As age passes with years, it might be harder to pick up your dignity, beliefs, principal, and energy with the complexity of life. But, it might just be something we all learn along the way of becoming older with age. Our agility to keep making mistakes and fixing it along the way, and earning badges of wisdom to learn to love ourselves despite the hurdles, failures, disappointments and heartbreaks and betrayals we are put through in life. Life is never going to be perfect, but if you are willing to put your best foot forward, and learning to know what your values and principals are. Its going to be less hard and easier to pick up your dignity and move forward to different people, places, experiences, and as you learn to round up your negative experiences with people who tries to smear your name, reputation, and dignity, no matter on what reasons or how they justify it as correct, just because they manage to tell everyone a lie, doesn’t make the lie the truth. As long as you hold on to your personal principal, personal values, believe in your personal experiences of what truly happened with your very own eyes and in your own untempered memory. You shouldn’t let the dark reality impair your dignity base on careless, irrational, evil doings of a hateful person. Recognize pure hate in the source of the attack of your dignity and future. Understand that this pure hatred has no place in your divine spirit and soul. Recognize that the hatred actually isnt yours to begin with. The blame, shame, guilt, accusations, force, intimidation, aggravation, gaslight, lies, twisted fable tales to force everyone around you to believe that you are undignified and wrong by the works of a hateful person attacking you. It should not, cannot, twist your dignity wrong side up. Your dignity and innocence can be healed now. Know that in situations like this, things are of course beyond your control and you can learn to accept certain hostility are better left aside and alone. Even if its targeted towards you, when you realize everyone has been fooled, and the grudge, hate, penance the crowd wants to attack you with is wrong and base is unfounded. They have been influenced and chose to take the side of the tyrant, oppressor, bully, predator. You carry on with your good vibes, with your good morale character, with your good life as best as you can, and that is what it means with picking up your dignity and move towards and find better experiences. There is nothing you could do or should do to fix your name or resolve any misunderstanding. Or patch up broken friendship or relationship. There is nothing you need to do to prove that you are innocent or wrongly accused, or misunderstood or falsely blamed and shamed. Accept that the universe works in miraculous ways to get you out of a toxic environment and into a different environment. In the time you find meaning in your spiritual awakening and personal life, you get to wake up and see the things you put up with that was not right for you to keep tolerating, and something maybe God or higher divine being you believe in, breaks friendships in order to keep you safe. Ugly things ended, so you don’t get to be harmed no more without your knowledge.
Move forward step by step, knowing in full awareness that you know you have good principals, good moral values, good inner compass filled with compassion and good intention. If people refuse to see it, there is nothing you can do to prove it and you are not obligated to defend yourself to groups of people who already persecute you before you even had a chance to speak your truth. That is why, accept the persecution as a judgment that the toxic person, predator, bully, abuser is trying to run away from, trying to dump onto you, trying to avoid, because subconsciously and deeply in fear, they know they cannot handle the consequences of their mistakes, of their sins, of their negative behaviour, of their bad choices. The crowd that boos you, and hurls insults or try to fight you in the abusers defense. They are defending the abuser without even knowing it, and there is nothing you can do to change their mind, when they are fully gaslighted, transformed into flying monkeys, and programmed to persecute you at sight without full context of the truth. Accept that. The power of your acceptance allows you to have full awareness that the hate underneath all the drama, craziness, negativity, and toxic energy targeted towards you to tarnish your reputation, dignity, self worth, self belief, its in truth deserving towards the abuser. But the abuser is scared and is running away from facing the actions of their of motives. Eventually the truth will be spilled out. And you are very very far away from the toxic haze while everyone who got fooled by the abuser, one by one is intoxicated by the twisted reality until they too learn to wake up on their own.
Accepting how people treat you because someone tells them something, accepting how certain realities change, because someone did something, accepting how you are rejected from certain expected opportunities. It could be a blessing in disguise preparing you for much rather bigger opportunities or miracle that might come in the near future. You may never know, but pick up your dignity and find better experiences without feeling any negative ties to the actions of people in your past.
I hope that this story motivates you, heals you, guides you, and brings you to a new foundation of self love, self belief, conviction, confidence, and inspire you to pick yourself back up no matter what happens, and keep believing in your potential to do your own magic in your personal endeavor and career.
With my highest divine love and blessings
Universal Healer & Peace Visionary
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