“You will pay for this and you will pay the price. ” Memento for all survivors of child abuse.
We will always pay the price for people who holds a revenge we don’t know about. Until we wake up and realise that when we stand up to bullies, control freaks, tyrants, authority figures that are deranged, greedy, irrational, cruel, crazy and unwise, there is always some sort of vengeance hold against us by the groups of people who feels we have wronged them, for standing up for our own rights, our own safety, our own choices.
We don’t get to play victim, childrens in abusive homes, don’t get to play victim, they don’t get the right to refuse sexual abuse, psychological abuse, humiliation, degradation, spiritual abuse, and are punished for being rebellious, for defending their dignity, for fighting back the house authority, their siblings, their parents, their relatives.
So these childrens will always pay the price. The price where they grow up, having a complex post traumatic stress disorder that will be the chip on their shoulder. These childrens will carry on the cycle of trauma through their subconscious life decisions, attracting predator after predator, social abnormal relationships after relationships, they fall deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole, until they are accustomed and groomed to accept pedophilia is normal. Incest is normal. Perverted mothers and Perverted fathers are normal. Making child brides and child love parent romantic relationships are normal. Confiding in different sex child in the eyes of the birth parent in abnormal wife husband relationship way is normal.
The children in abusive homes with deranged parents as the authority figures, allowing psychological, spiritual, sexual, emotional and mental abuse to keep occurring, under the radar, among many other families living in the same society, neighborhood, town, city. They are silenced, threatened, intimidated, and when they ask for help, people turn them down, they get suicidal, and feels trapped and have no where to go or ask for help. Some of these childrens, finds a way to run away, very far away from where their family lives. And this makes them vulnerable to human trafficking, or becoming mail order brides, or fall in toxic relationship with predatory sociopaths who will only use them as sexual dolls and a source of sexual gratification. As well as using them for any source of wealth, climbing up social status, associating to intelligence, beauty, attraction, popularity and looks.
Standing up to tyrant sociopathic parental figures at an adult age, comes with deeper costs, to be attacked, to be threatened, to have ones dignity broken and smeared, to have one’s financial earning capability destroyed. Who is going to help this survivors of abuse? They end of scapegoated, isolated, abandoned, and their stories are rarely told. They might believe that people don’t care, society looks the other way, government officials don’t mind and invalidate their pain, suffering, and trauma.
So what will be these survivor’s opportunity to lead a happy life? A stable and peaceful life? Apart from them trying to make it in the world by themselves. Some of them with impaired self esteem may have trouble sustaining and having any sense of stability as the complex post traumatic stress disorder will trigger them in random days, with random behaviours from people they meet in public. It will be hard for them to find someone they trust who will not have a secret agenda on their own.
When you dare to break away from the secret family cult of incest, child abuse, sexual abuse, and the parental authority uses religion to mask the actions of their past, and forces the childrens to forget that they have been sexually abused, forget the physical abuse, forget the emotional abuse, forget the humiliation and dumping of negative wretched emotions to their childrens. These behaviours and negative treatments sinks to the bottom of the children’s souls and become their survival pattern, an unresolved fight, flea, or freeze whenever the children who turned to become adults, are faced with the same enigma as their childhood counterpart. Their reaction, automatic response will be transcended back to their fearful childhood days where they disassociate, they froze, they feel helpless, speechless, powerless, empty, hollow, and they can barely remember themselves being victimized over and over again. As a survival and coping mechanism, they “continuously forget” and live their days in a daze, groomed and primed for bigger predator to come along, and repeat the abuse in broad daylight, in a quiet corner, away from other peering eyes, or simply taken away with the desire, greed, lust, intimidation and wrath.
If you survive childhood abuse, wether by a single parent, both parents, siblings, other relatives or guardians, or you have been abused, rejected, singled out by the entire family. For whatever trauma your parents, adopted parents, adopted family, life guardian has lived through before they met you and took you under their roof or birthed you and abandoned and rejected you. For what ever stories that they live through, that they suffered or enjoyed. Know that when you come into the picture of any of these peoples lives. If you are younger, vulnerable, meant to confide and expect reassurance, safety, kindness, acceptance, protection, security, from these people and group of people called family. Know that there is nothing about you that was troublesome, problematic, stressful. If you know you are one of the most pleasant human creatures on planet earth. Your patience is highly virtuous.
Life doesn’t need to revolve around and about your history or current story of being abused and mistreated. A healing process will take some time, but here is a beautiful advice and guidance. Try finding and exploring who you are outside of the definition the abusive group of people forced upon you. Try finding your personal passion, your personal hobby, nurture your personal interests. Of course it is always tiring dealing with toxic people who feeds on your state of mind, state of power, state of peace, and state of well-being in order to expand their grandiose superiority of extravagance. Try building a world in your mind where you can rest, rejuvenate, relax, and dream. Escape into the wonderland of the possibilities of having a peaceful, prosperous, joyful, happy, comfortable life, away from abusive people, away from predators, away from dangerous individuals.
Learn to build your inner world and fill it with knowledge on becoming wise enough to refuse, decline, and make good decisions to block any danger coming your way, and to build safety, security, and sanctuary in your life. Even if society, public, government, people in your vicinity or your peers does not know about your trauma, abuse, or history. The least and favorable thing you can do to help yourself is to create a new world where you control the environment, you are in charge of the ins and outs of random people, you build the safety net of expressing your highest life’s ideal and express the way you think what experiences will bring you the utmost joy and happiness. Work on building the bridge to achieve that experience. And along the way that there may be obstacles and challenges, and if it ties to your history, trauma, and past suffering, use it as a motivation to fuel you to visualize a better and more idealistic outcome you want to create that you can control. And keep evolving your ability to perceive what makes you happy, and keep flying, riding higher in the winds of change, and don’t expect people who abused you in the past to change, don’t put any cards in their hands. All the cards are in your own hands, deal your own cards, play with your own cards, choose your own cards. Learn how to hit your own life’s jackpot. By playing a game with life, base on your own possibilities, potential, and learning what is your limit, and knowing what is your weakness, and holding on to what is your strengths. If you can fix your weakness and make it stronger, then learn to. If you cannot, then play in the side of your strengths.
If certain places makes you feel anxiety, then don’t go near the place. If certain people trigger you, then cut exposure to the contact. If you don’t trust your instincts or impulse around new people or sales people, then break that interaction. You are not obligated to give your presence to anyone who asks for it. Your automatic door to your presence will always be under your authority. You pick who you want to share your presence with. You are not obligated to be kind, polite, generous, attentive, to anyone you meet. Its fine to be aloof, cold, arrogant, undermining, closed-off, unfriendly, there is always a perfect reason that is your natural response to certain people, crowd, or individuals who keeps seeking for your attention. Your body knows certain vibrations that are toxic and your body knows that your natural response is okay. Only toxic predatory people will distort your natural resistance to toxic people with downplay, guilt, and aggressive superiority to force you to open yourself up to dangerous individuals who wants something from you and hides their true agenda.
If abusive people intimidates and attempts to destroy your world, the thing you build with love, empathy, patience, and more positive energy. Don’t believe they have the power to ruin you or your dreams. When you realize the core of their being is not plugged in the right spirit of love and light. You don’t have to feel intimidated by their nonsense, fears, intimidation, influence, and all sort of negative emotions. That negative emotions was raised out of an evil spirit that dwells in their soul, created by their connection to unkind spiritual source. When you acknowledge and recognise that their behaviour, attitude, expressions, are not something you naturally respect, tolerate, embody, and accept. Their power to influence you cannot trick you into accepting their authority, dominion or control. One thing I find that could apply here is that, people are not crazy, but they choose to be irrational because they refuse to admit that they are feeding their evil tendencies. They feed their lust, greedy, envy, anger, pride, sloth by distorting others who are superior than them in natural ways. These people are toxic people, who are also called energy vampires. They build their power, by breaking people who intimidate them, down. Believe me when I say these people who are abusive and predatory, do not have faith or self belief, they always rely on an audience for them to prove their powers. They don’t and cannot initiate anything on their own, because their beliefs are a mixture of a little bit from everyone. They have no set beliefs. Because they have no principal. They have no sense of value. On their own, they are weak. On their own, they have no confidence. On their own, they have no conviction. They derive their power from the tall tales they spread, and the reaction from people they deceived. They derive their confidence, from slandering innocent people, and playing the victim. They derive their sense of importance, by humiliating and attacking innocent people that they deceived. Why would your unconscious body mind spirit ever allow such ghastly individual ever be the main conductor in your life.
When you have a spirit inside you that is either pure, good, or beautiful. There will be other individuals who hunts for it in order to destroy it. The light in your soul is shining too brightly for the people who have lived a guilt ridden life. As they become aware of your conviction, faith, principals and vocation as well as integrity. They are triggered, and they need to lie to you about who they are, they need to hide from you who they are, they need to force you to believe they are not who they feel they are. Your peaceful light aggravates their shames, sins, secrets out into the open. And perhaps that is why you were abused, as a child, and your life was forced, shocked, distraught, and you are not allowed to have peace. Because in your presence of being alert, awakened, in the moment. You have the power to be at ease, and you being at ease reveals and evokes sleeping demons in others. As an adult, if you have a connection to spirit still, and you have conviction and a strong sense of right and wrong. And there are people after you, attempting to derail you, influence you the wrong path, affect your life greatly, and it upsets you, makes you lose sleep, forces you to feel anxious. Remember that when you are at ease, you wake up sleeping demons. And this sleeping demons are angry of your light. Learn to know that you have the power to accept what is. Then do nothing about it, because other people’s reaction to your presence has nothing to do with you. It has something to do with their own unconscious awareness that their anger, fear, shadow side is triggered by your love, faith, clarity, warmth, acceptance. The enemy that your abuser is fighting is not you dear gorgeous and beautiful audience and readers. The enemy they are fighting are a reflection of their own shadows, from seeing their own reflection off your shiny soul.
To all survivors of child abuse, you are not here on this earth to be beaten down. But to create a path of authenticity, kindness, love, light and more positive energy to enter this world. Your history might be rocky and hard and dark. But with this awareness that you have something to live for, with all the years coming up for you, build a world you love, express your truth your way, accept your natural selves, dream of a possibility and take the necessary steps to plan a way to achieve your dreams when you are ready.
You will pay the price, and you will pay for surviving, thriving, still living and still breathing. The price of the abuser’s revenge, the price of your suffering and patience, the price of any harm coming your way because you have dignity, conscience, principal and respect for yourself. Which could mean that these values and qualities you emanate is your awareness you deserve better, you are aware that you are not a sheep, or a blind fool, or a slave to listen to irrational orders and demands. But there is also a grand prize, of achieving your dreams, your happiness, your independence, your joy, your new friends and family who are loyal, kind, supportive, understanding, protective, loving, and embracing you with real warmth.
The grand prize for you to survive, thrive, and dream of a better world, apart from accepting what is with the abuser’s unending drama, vengeance, attacks, revenge, assaults, insults, intimidation and so much more negativity. The grand prize for your life that you will pay for in your resilience to conquer and overcome abusive people from your history, is the beauty of new friendships, new families, new life, new independence. So don’t give up on your healing even if your society doesn’t help you, your peers don’t know your story, your government doesn’t support your healing. If its meant to be it will be. Live your life with hope, even thought some days its just a little or none left. A new day can bring new hope. Rest, rejuvenate, dream, believe, create a world of love in a quiet corner in your mind, and know that you are safe. You are far from the pain, you can demolish the memory that brings negative emotions into the present and just learn to observe your negative past without any reaction and accept that what is, is. what happened has happened. there is nothing else you are obligated to do to change it. you are not wrong, nor guilty. you have nothing to give to the memory that wants to punish you, make you suffer, or suffocate you. You can forgive the memory, let everyone in the memory go, and just let it sink in the bottom of the ocean of humanity. You know its in the past. You accepted the experience but it doesnt have to be in your primary focus, attention and vision. You can create a world you love, a person you love to be and express, a hobby you wish to pursue and nurture, a career you desire to establish. As you learn to redesign the way your mind works, and taking the reigns of your mental capacity and mental agility. You can keep working on your desires, your dreams, your ambitions, your goals. This is you living in the present moment, building the pictures of your life, in live mode. And after some time, the memories that use to haunt you and suffocates you, doesn’t look entertaining enough to be bothered by. You start to move towards more joyful memories, joyful visions, joyful experiences, and this inner drive is your capacity and willpower to unconsciously choose love, joy, happiness, independence, healing and growth.
The price you paid for your suffering, standing up to the tyrants, surviving childhood abuse, can be a sweet investment and compensation to a future you build in your mind right now. Everyone has a chance to happiness. Even if its a small happiness. Its still a moment that is precious. The price you will pay and have paid, is an investment to your principal and integrity, that you know you deserve better, and your future thanks you.
Love from you future selves.
Interested in working with Meredith for a Universal Healing session?
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